Regaining My Sanity

So early Thursday morning, I boarded an Aloha Airlines flight bound for Honolulu. I have been big time stressed lately and decided I needed to get back to my second home for some R & R.

This is my first time taking Aloha from the mainland to the islands and they do a nice job. Drinks, then a hot sandwich and bag with assorted small items (just like Continental does only Aloha rightly calls it a snack, not a meal). About an hour prior to landing, they come through with hot cookies and milk. Very nice touch. The only thing that takes away from the flight is that they fly a 737-700. Aloha has been a big fan of the 737 for the last 20-30 years and it is the only plane they fly. Perhaps this is just my imagination, but the seats seems pretty small in comparison with larger aircraft. Of all the airlines that I have flown in the past two years to the islands, Hawaiian seems to do the best job. They fly 767-300 aircraft, still have a complimentary full meal service, and the crew are friendly and local for the most part. United does fly 777-200s on certain flights which are nicer aircraft, but the seat pitch is so poor that you cannot concentrate on anything else. Especially when some one's seat is reclined all the way back and crushing your legs. I am going home on ATA, so I will let you know how they do also. Only deal is, they also fly a 737 Next Generation aircraft, so I have a feeling the experience will be a pared down version of Aloha.

So, I arrived Thursday without much sleep at all. My hotel room was not ready for a couple of hours, so I traipsed around Waikiki, grabbed some lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, and then returned to the hotel. My hotel had a promotion going where I got two one hour massages included in my stay. I went down to the spa at 3 PM and had my first massage. The massage therapist was excellent and I was a ball of jelly by the time he finished working on me. I stumbled back to my room and passed out for the next seven to eight hours. I ventured out to the clubs later on that night, ran into some familiar faces and headed home for an early night.

Friday, I slept in. I headed out in the afternoon and read my book (Rupert Everett's new autobiography) at Queens Beach for a couple of hours. I then headed over to the International Marketplace to grab some lunch. They have a good part of it completely torn up, it will be interesting to see what they will do with the space. I headed back to the hotel and rested up, watched some tv, chatted on the phone, watched a movie.

Saturday, I woke up and headed to the spa for my second massage. This one was not quite as good as the first, but still felt amazing. I had lunch at the coffee shop next door, came back to the hotel and drank a bunch of water, and promptly passed out again. (You can see I am really getting lots accomplished on this trip.) Woke up late, headed out again. Saturday night is the big night to go out here and there always seems to be a good size contingent of military boys out. I have been cutting my hair short lately and the military boys seemed to think I was one of them. "Dude, where you stationed?" I made some friends and we danced until 4 AM.

I am now writing this before bed, the birds are chirping and the sun cannot be far away. I will be back on the mainland soon. I do love my time here.

Hope you are all having a great weekend. Cuidate.

Movie Friday

I have to admit; I have been frustrated lately by caliber of films that I was seeing. Nothing was moving me to tears or making me feel the awe and wonder of film making as an art. I am pleased to say that this has changed. Last Saturday, I saw The Namesake. Directed by award winning filmmaker Mira Nair, this film is nothing short of amazing.

The Namesake is an adapted screenplay from the acclaimed novel by Jhumpa Lahiri. It tells the story of an Indian family who immigrates to America and establishes a life here. As they progress through life, they deal with a common struggle of immigrant families to the United States; the question of who one is and what culture you identify with. The film is a fascinating look at the culture of arranged marriages, which happens in many other cultures besides ours. I cannot imagine being set up with someone of my parents choosing, but the custom seems to work well in other parts of the world. The other point that I took home from this film (and I have been giving a great deal of thought to lately) is the idea of North American culture or the lack thereof. As most of our families have only been inhabitants of this continent for the last two hundred years and some change, it can be hard to argue that apple pie, baseball, and the Fourth of July represent as much culturally as traditions and cultures that trace back three thousand years or more. Yet if you claim to be of a certain heritage (ie. Italian or Mexican) and you go back to those countries after spending a certain number of years here or being born here, then you are always "the gringo". So I also identified with the struggle to find and define who you are as a person without strong connections to one's background or ancestry.

Visually, this film is stunning. Nair, and Indian society it seems, have a love affair with bold, strong colors. The way in which she combines this gorgeous palate with the music and the emotion of the characters is remarkable. Watching this film is reminiscent of witnessing a featured musician or vocalist with an orchestra. It has the power to change your life. I have been in a melancholy mood as of late, but this film truly inspires me on so many levels. It is not yet on DVD, but I highly recommend you track it down in your local art house movie theatre and take it in. You will not be disappointed.

Cuidate.

Crazy People

I have been thinking a lot about the latest shooting rampage that took place this week. Everyone seems determined to find someone to blame. The family, the school administrators, the police, resident aliens who were born somewhere else. It is an ugly game, spurred on by 24 hour news networks forced to fill time. People seem to take some comfort in the idea that this boy was "not American". Actually, he moved here when he was young, he was educated here, and his parents are hard working immigrants who own a small business. That makes him American in my book. Just because he was not born here does not mean he is not one of us.

Newsflash... There are a lot of crazy people out there. I never dreamt of how many there were until I started working for the police. The majority of them are harmless, a small number of them require regular medication, some of which get really wacky when they forget to take their meds. Another small number need treatment badly, but do not get it due to either economic, family, or cultural circumstances. These people are virtually invisible in our everyday society. They are the people in line with us at the store or a coffee shop, the ones who sit next to us on the bus, the ones who live next to us and seem like quiet normal people. It is only when they act out that we find out what is really going on with them.

I was reading Margaret Cho's blog and as usual, she has some good insights.

Whenever anything really bad happens around Korean people, that is when I would like to hide, go to Hawaii and eat spam sushi until it blows over. I don’t want to comment on it because I don't want to escalate the situation and I don't want to implicate myself in it. I don't want to 'come out' as Asian because therein lies a tremendous responsibility that I never volunteered for, that I don't have any real control over, and that is as mysterious to me as it is to someone who isn't Asian.

So here is the whole terrible mess of the shootings at Virginia Tech. I look at the shooter's expressionless face on the news and he looks so familiar, like he could be in my family. Just another one of us. But how can he be us when what he has done is so terrible? Here is where I can really envy white people because when white people do something that is inexplicably awful, so brutally and horribly wrong, nobody says – “do you think it is because he is white?” There are no headlines calling him the “White shooter." There is no mention of race because there is no thought in anyone's mind that his race had anything to do with his crime.

So much attention is focused on the Asian-ness of the shooter, how the Korean community is reacting to it, South Korea's careful condolences and cautiously expressed fear that it will somehow impact the South Korean population at large.

What is lost here is the grief. What is lost is the great, looming sadness that we should all feel over this. We lose our humanity to racism, time and time again.

I extend my deepest sympathies to all those who lost their loved ones, their children, their friends and family, in this unimaginable tragedy. I send them all the love I have in me, and I encourage everyone to do the same.

The point she makes is spot on. The American press painted a very similar picture when they painted the killer of Gianni Versace, Andrew Cunanan, as a homicidal homosexual in the late nineties. Since when does a killer's sexual orientation have anything to do with his or her motivation to kill another? One feels like when you watch a news broadcast these days, you might as well be watching Hard Copy or reading The Star. The line between tabloid press and mainstream press is increasingly difficult to discern. The most amazing thing would be if the news organizations stopped trying to pin blame on someone and just reported the news as it happens. Don't worry, I am not holding my breath for that to happen.

As with Margaret, my thoughts and prayers are with the friends and families of Virginia Tech this week as well as the family of Seung-Hui Cho . My hope is that they are able to find some peace and comfort with the passage of time.

Have a great weekend everyone. Cuidate.

Down and Out

So I had been doing very well this year healthwise, managing to avoid anything major. My luck was not to last. I got hit by a fairly significant flu bug this week. The last night I worked, my throat started getting scratchy and I felt like something was coming. To be fair, I overdid it last week and worked a couple of days of overtime, getting only six hours of sleep combined over the two days. I am an ox in Chinese astrology through and through and the offer of overtime for me is nearly impossible to refuse. Still my first day off was spent in a fever induced restless sleep, shivering, and a nasty developing sore throat. I threw everything I could at it... Oscillococcinum, throat lozenges, Riccola, Ibuprofin, Sudafed, gargling with warm salt water, and on and on. Friday I was feeling a bit better, but probably should have called in sick for some overtime I had scheduled. I put in my nine hours, but was lagging by the end. I came home and tried to go to bed, but my throat was killing me when I woke up again today. I got dressed and headed over to the local easy in/easy out clinic that I have frequented for years. Today, I was seen by some Filipino doctor who decided to prescribe me a medication that I am confident I have some allergy to. I felt like I was on the losing end of negotiations, but was too weak to put up a strong defense. (The pharmacist filling the prescription asked me three times if I should be taking this medication. I was like, "Uh...I'm not going to die, right?" What doesn't kill you.... Uh... Yeah, I guess.) His exam took approximately three minutes including a strep culture that left me unable to speak or swallow for ten minutes. As I left, he saw my address on the medical forms and then launched into a long diatribe of his bad experiences working in Oakland (approximately five minutes longer than my three minute exam). My hunch is that he now suffers from PTSD, but I am no medical expert. I assured him that where I live is very safe and I enjoy it greatly. I think I was subliminally hoping to piss him off which I might have had some success with. After all, he did prescribe me a medication that I am allergic to! The medication seems to be working despite some minor allergic symptoms and my throat is definitely on the mend. So good deal there.

I am taking off to Hawaii for a long weekend soon. I need a break and I need to recharge my batteries. O took off to So Cal last week, he may or may not return. I hope he finds what he is looking for, wherever that might be. An opportunity has presented itself at work and I am going to have to make a decision this week on whether or not to take it or stay where I am. I keep writing everything down, making diagrams and pointless calculations to try and make the right decision. In the end, I suppose it is where you want to call home.

Hope everyone is doing well. Cuidate.

Visual Crack

One would not think that an adult gay man could be so fascinated by life at the Playboy Mansion. But I am. The Girls Next Door on E! has no real redeeming qualities whatsoever. Still, I am transfixed. I must say, with the DVR they are even more enjoyable. 20 minutes of pure fluff, no commercials, no thought required. It is like Angel Food Cake.

Take a recent episode. Holly tries her hand at producing a Playboy photo shoot. Bridgette works on a demo tape to get herself a television hosting job. Kendra goes hunting for a condo in her home town of San Diego. Holly's best line of the episode..."I'm the boss' girlfriend, they can't get mad at me." Isn't that the ugly truth? Do you think Hef is going to tell Holly the photos suck? Yeah... Not going to happen if he wants to keep getting some. Bridgette's best line... "I'm not really interested in doing serious news. I'm more interested in fun hosting jobs, like creepy things, amusement parks." Amusement parks? Oh yeah, there are a lot of television jobs in the amusement park field. Kendra on buying her condo. "This condo had everything I wanted. And the mirrors in the bedroom make my ass look thin." Realtors across the country will be grateful for this new advertising slogan. Cozy studio, kitchenette, and mirrors that make your ass look thin!

I suppose the series reminds me of The Osbournes which I used to like a lot as well. Most of us would love to have a disposable income and be able to live large and these shows show us the people that do that. I remember Ozzy going to buy candy for the house at a British candy store in L.A. and spending $600. I like candy, but I rarely drop $600 at a time on it without thinking about it. Come to think of it, I rarely drop $600 for anything without some preplanning. It is also nice imagining having a staff to cater to your every need. More champagne sir? Does it not seem like the staff has nothing else to do besides plan and arrange parties? Hef is supposed to be quite the demanding customer as well, so that is one place I would not like to work. One of the other aspects of the show is appeals to me is that I feel really intelligent after watching. I certainly do not have a genius IQ, but I could kick Kendra's ass in Trivial Pursuit.

For all of you that have not seen this show yet, I highly recommend it. Once you have watched one episode, you will not be able to turn it off. If this show does not tickle your fancy, a new reality show is in production following the lives of America's newest residents Victoria and David Beckham. Referred to as Posh and Becks by the Brits, this paparazzi power couple's new program should be a hit amongst gays and women for sure. I do not think America is going to embrace David because they do not like or care in the slightest about soccer. Still, Posh may be our new Anna Nicole. You heard it here first!

Cuidate all.

Top Design...The Death of Goil

I like my dose of Bravo. It is truly the gayest channel on TV. (Sorry Logo.) Project Runway, Kathy Griffin, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and Girl, Top Chef, Top Design, Blow Out, Work Out, Inside the Actor's Studio, and on and on.

Project Runway is, by far, one of the best shows on television. Basically, all of the reality contest shows that have come after Runway are poor copies of it. It all boils down to chemistry. Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn, Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, these are the people we love to love and love to hate. If you take the first season of Top Chef which was disastrously hosted by Billy Joel's latest wife, you truly see how much having the right vehicle means in selling a product. Katie Lee Joel had the charisma, like ability, and delivery of a piece of plywood. It also was filmed here in San Francisco and somehow managed to make the city look sunny and boring, neither of which are true. Anytime I watch one of the other Bravo reality shows after watching Runway, it feels I am watching a cheap imitation of the original. Which I am.

Be that as it may, Top Design has proven to be entertaining. There have been some memorable contestants this first season and the show definitely holds your attention. Todd Oldham, as the host, seems really nice and sweet, to the point that I am suspicious. If I have learned one thing from these reality contest shows, it is that people who are tenacious and a bit manipulative seem to be the people who get ahead. (Wendy Pepper anyone?) Perhaps when it comes to business, Todd is very assertive. On a personal level, it seems I could ask Todd to clean up diarrhea from my dog and he would cheerfully do it. The judges are an interesting group. The funniest and most interesting person is Kelly Wearstler by far. I have enjoyed seeing her work in different episodes throughout the season and I admire her talent as a designer. I am not familiar with Jonathan Adler or Margaret Russell, but they are likable enough and seem to bring a good bit of knowledge and experience to the table. After watching a show, I always walk away with admiration for the contestants. They are able to execute a complete concept and idea in such a short amount of time. If I attempted to decorate a completely blank space in a day, even with $50,000 I fear it would be a complete disaster.

So the show is nearing its finale and one of my favorite contestants Goil was eliminated this week. Besides being really really cute and having a great personality, Goil was a gifted architect and created some really interesting pieces and designs throughout the competition. That being said, this is Top Design and not Top Architect. (On a wacky side note, that sounds like a really interesting show! Maybe Goil could host?) Carisa has been crying out to be eliminated for weeks. She is a television set designer and her work has always seemed very uninspiring. (WTF was her hotel room vision this week? Black and blue are not complimentary colors unless you are talking spousal beating.) Her arguments with her carpenter Carl are not winning her any points either. This could be the editor's vision of Carisa or she could truly be this annoying in person, it is hard to tell. I am rooting for Andrea at this point. Matt is quite possibly the gayest person on the show, yet he is married with a child. (Michael may have been gayer, but it would be a photo finish in that race.) Also, there is something about his accent that makes me want to cover my ears and scream. According to his bio, he is from Minnesota and he currently lives in Chicago. One bad accent mixed with another equally bad one. Andrea may be a bit on the calculating side, but she seems very talented and her chef's table design was very impressive as well as functional. Of the finalists, I like her style and thought process the best.

On a side note, DirecTV arrived at my new apartment on Friday and installed a satellite dish. The service is great and it is will be about half the cost of Comcast Digital Cable. Not to mention, it includes a DVR which has changed my world. No more commercials and you can pause live TV. Woo hoo!

Have a great week everyone. Cuidate.