A somewhat desperate and vain attempt to quiet the naysayers in my head
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Heat Wave
The Bay Area has been struck by record heat the past couple of days. In Oakland, we have been right around a hundred degrees and the City has seen temperatures in the nineties. Very, very, very unusual for this time of year. Global warming continues to rear its ugly head. It has been a dry year in the hills and wildfires continue to spark. Santa Cruz County is dealing with its third batch of fires this year already. A church in east Oakland caught fire today and took out five buildings before it was brought under control. Being only ten blocks away from my apartment, it was a little close for comfort.
My parents are in town, having made it here after almost a month in Japan. We are such different people, they and I. I feel like the black puppy in a litter of white and brown spotted dogs. My dad is such an amazing man. Military veteran, engineer, mechanic extraordinaire, great father, quiet, funny, fearless, and loyal. Still, being the son of conservatives he cannot help, but utter comments like, "Well, just wait for a Democrat to take over and then we'll really see the country messed up." I cannot imagine what it must be like for both he and my mother to visit here. This is such a different culture and way of life than he and my mother are used to. My mom has come a long way over the years in giving me acceptance and support. Still, she also has uttered some statements along the way this trip that make me laugh. I was channel surfing the other day with my Mom and we came across Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D List. I did not give it much thought, but left the program on and my mother looked at me in horror and said, "Oh no. She was on Larry King last week and I cannot tell you what filth came out of her mouth." Hmm... So maybe my mom is not quite Kathy Griffin's target audience. The "Suck it Jesus" Emmy Award speech probably did not help her case. I assume by this point that my mother conveniently chooses not to think about my day to day lifestyle at all. I tried to educate her about the humor that Kathy Griffin employs being very gay themed and oriented, but my mom did not get it at all. For me, I am an inherently curious person. I always want to know what makes people tick and how their human experience is versus mine. From my mom's point of view, apparently not. The less she has to think about anything different than her life experience and views, the better. I try my best to bite my tongue and not interject too much bickering into our conversations considering we see each other so rarely, but some of the ridiculous statements that come out of her mouth cannot go unchallenged.
Anyhow, my parents were returning from attending my niece's high school graduation in Japan. They were flying military standby and got stuck heading back to the states. Thanks to my generous friend at United, I scored them a couple of buddy passes that got them this far. I am taking them to the local Air Force base tomorrow and they are going to continue their quest to make it back to their car in Maryland. It's similar to an episode of the Amazing Race, but in slow motion with old contestants. Maybe The Senior Race or The Geriatric Race? (All of you haters, pipe down. I am fully aware that I am going to be old too someday and you can all feel free to make jokes at my expense.)
Exciting news from the peninsula. I have completed my training phase at my new job and I am working on my own! Training seemed to fly by for me and I am starting to recognize all of the people I work with and not be so lost by the many faces and voices we deal with. A big thank you to all of my friends and family who have helped me through the retraining process and been so supportive. My life is so rich and wonderful because of all of you and I thank you for this.
Gay Pride week is almost here! The film festival began last night and I am trying to squeeze in some films this week. Next Sunday is the big day and I cannot wait. My favorite day of the year. Looking forward to hanging with old friends and meeting up with new ones. Come one, come all. Get in touch with me for info if you want to join the party.
Everyone stay cool and I will write soon. Cuidate.
Like a phantom from long ago Our eyes met with lust, Comfort and fire.
Time has passed; The bad is forgotten, The good is remembered, The wreckage from the crash long since cleaned up. But scorch marks always remain below the surface, Not always visible to the naked eye.
The intense taste of anticipation as we kissed, The familiar and the new Combined with the ease of days past. The salty taste of his neck, His body enveloped in mine, All of my neurons firing in a chaotic frenzy.
Waking up with him by my side, Strange, disturbing, wonderful, frightening, My gut screaming at the rest of my body, “What the fuck are you doing…” The rest of my body ignoring it all, Drowning in the pleasure of his return. Imprinting every square inch of him into my memory, Wishing the moment would last forever.
Of course it does not. That is not the way life works. My addiction to him is dangerous, Possibly lethal.
As promised, Kellie's take on the film. Thanks for being my first guest blogger girl! (Warning...Kellie's review does contain some spoilers if you have not seen the film yet.)
Final Fantasy?
If you haven't seen it yet... you're late. I like to think of Sex and the City - The Motion Picture, as one possible version. All the glamour, humor, fashion, music, and witty repartee were there, however I was left wanting a little more. And with Sex.... that's never good. So I'm giving it three and a half stars. I'm a purest by nature and some of it didn't ring true.
There is no doubt in my mind that Michael Patrick King had much input from many sources. I would love to have been in the editing room to see what made it and especially what didn't make the cut. It felt 'movie' like, but I feel it had lost the city grit I love the television series for. It felt glossy, as it should - it's a movie, it's Hollywood, it's fantasy. Not good, not bad... just different.
And while on the subject of gone Hollywood... Samantha... it was in the back of my mind throughout the movie if they moved her character to California because of the off-set rumored upsets? Like character punishment. She came back to NYC for all the major events, but that seemed disjointed. "Yeeeay, Samantha's here!" they'd exclaim, as if it was a surprise... I was thinking 'yeah, she'd better be there!' I was proud that Charlotte finally grew a couple and wasn't a total Pollyanna. Now that's character development! Charlotte's character matured the most and finally let go...and let go she did, in many different ways. Miranda was Miranda... her character was always strong, solid and very human. I believe Cynthia Nixon is a great actress and she has stayed true to Miranda. The male counterparts were weak. They dressed Steve like an undeserving dork and I barely saw or heard from Harry, whom I love. And I could have used A LOT more gay! Anthony and Stanford were present, but the television series incorporated gay story lines more frequently, it made the show what it was and that aspect seemed absent. I adored Jennifer Hudson's' role, she seemed to fit in just perfectly and I had wished she was in the movie from the start.
Now for the meat... Carrie and Big. What happened? (I say that in a lot of my past relationships too) But, seriously, what happened? I don't believe this version, I'll say it this way... It's unbelievable! It was nice to see them; they were great; Carrie was mostly true to character, but Big was a Big Wimp.A fifteen year relationship and 3 years of living together and I'm asked to believe this scenario? That being said...I'd like to ask- please go back, re write and give me something better! Then I could see more NYC, more clothes, more glamour, more laughs. That would be fine with me. It'd be like "Sex and the City - The Other Version". Not a sequel, but perhaps what happens to them in a parallel universe.
The one thing I have learned from my own writing class is that writers make the rules in the world in which you are writing about and in that world anything is possible. So, it's okay that an entire walk in closet was created out of thin air... or a really large crawl space. Some of my favorites: Carrie's gray sweater with the feathers. Charlotte's black dress at the wedding. Samantha's big sun hat. The resort they stayed at in Mexico, Leon Andre Talley's cameo. The lesson on forgiveness. Carrie's cell phone with duct tape on it. Plum Skyes cameo. Steve's butt. The rendition of Auld Lang Syne. The movie was total fantasy, but it was an inspiration to appreciate your friends, look good when you leave the house, enjoy your life and don't ever forget to laugh a little.
My Sex and the City day was a wonderful day and it was entertainment at its best! We were one of the first to see it on opening day because we went to the matinee, Thanks A Million to my number one gay (a Mark of all times good). The movie allowed me to reflect on my own life, my dear friends, sex and the 'other' city (SF), my own Mr. Big and my wardrobe. I feel very fortunate to be living the life I have; even though, like the girls, I complain and try to figure it out all too often. I couldn't do it without my friends, whom I consider my family, and their great sense of humor. The only thing missing right now? A great pair of shoes... who wants to go shopping?
Friday might as well have been a holiday throughout the U.S. The girls of Sex and the City hit the big screen in a big way four years after the end of the landmark television series. I had purchased my tickets weeks in advance and my gal pal Kellie accompanied me to the packed theatre in downtown San Francisco. Kellie will be filing her own review as a guest blogger within the next couple of days.
(I do not want to spoil the film for those of you who have not seen it yet, so I will not be giving away any spoilers.) I give the film a four star rating out of five. To be frank, expectations for the film from me were low. I would have been happy with just about anything they did. The girls looked amazing, the clothing, the music, and the cinematography of the film were right in sync with the television show. New York City has never looked better nor more inviting than it does in this film. My main issue was two fold; the story line and the participation of the male cast in the film. The film started out wonderfully, but then reached a point about half an hour in that I found unrealistic. It seems writer and director Michael Patrick King needed to write this particular angle into the film to drive the plot for the next ninety minutes. Unlike most of the other story lines throughout the six years of the series, this one did not ring true for me. It was overly dramatic and did not honor the characters lives over the past four years as I felt it should have. Secondly, the men of the cast were relegated to mere cameos. Big seemed a mere shadow of himself in this film, Steve is dressed frumpy and written to be a mere extension of Miranda, and Harry might as well not even be in the film. Smith seems to get a good deal of screen time, but does little with it. Stanford and Anthony also make mere cameo appearances, though they provided some great humor for the little screen time they were given. So that is my bitch session. Still, overall it was still entertaining, funny, and emotional in many spots. Jennifer Hudson is also a wonderful addition to the cast and really owns her role. I will certainly be going again to see it and I am sure the film DVD will proudly take its place alongside my well worn six seasons of DVDs.
I happened to be reading some comments on a BBC article about the film earlier in the week and I was shocked at the negativity of many. It seems that men (or at least British men in this case) and some women as well do not understand the show and seem to hate it in many cases. Women who live in urban areas and gay men make up a good portion of the loyal fan base for the show. For the women, there is a certain amount of appreciation for a show that speaks to their lives and lifestyles. Sex and the City defined the modern woman. It brought "out of the closet" so to speak the reality that single women were having sex and a good amount of it. The frank discussions of sex, emotions, and men amongst the girls made it ok to discuss subjects that were previously taboo. In many places, I suppose these subjects still are! Another revolutionary concept brought forth was that it is ok to be a single woman in her thirties or forties. Even though the bulk of the characters end up paired up, the show boldly made the statement that one can create their own definition of family, friends, and relationships in this day and age.
As a gay man, the show speaks to us on many levels. The first two seasons of the show were written by a mostly gay male writing staff and it shows in both the frankness of the conversations and the quick witted humor. Gay men are masters of the conversation and take no prisoners. Most will also answer any question you pose to them honestly and without the filtering that mainstream society holds the straights to. Gay men also tend to move to urban areas (fondly known as "gay ghettos") where they can form communities of acceptance to their non-traditional lifestyles. In the many interviews with both the female cast and Michael Patrick King over the past few weeks, all were quick to point out that the show was purposely written to be about these four ladies and the family that they have created for themselves. When one lives in an urban area, you do not often meet the extended family of the people you hang with. Either they come to visit sporadically or your friends "go home to visit", but in almost all cases these visits tend to be awkward and looked upon with a certain sense of dread. In my case, I love my biological family very much. But after living in likely the most liberal urban area of the United States, going to visit the family in rural America seems almost like visiting a foreign country. When you are used to a visual diet of Priuses, designer dogs, Thai restaurants, and medicinal marijuana clinics, it is quite a shock to encounter Wal-Marts, enormous gas guzzling trucks with large American flag bumper stickers, people in flannel shirts, and FOX News as a serious news source. The writers of the show made a conscious effort to never introduce the parents or a large number of family members of the four girls into the show because it is not a realistic part of the urban living experience. So this part of the show also strikes a big chord with me. Being able to choose your family in our culture (either gay or straight) allows you to surround yourself with people who love you, accept you, support you, and do not make demands of you that a biological family might make.
Finally, the film and the show continue to be what Michael Patrick King calls "a valentine" to people that are single. I know that all of the people in my life care for me incredibly and simply want the best for me. But there is pressure, from both family and friends, that I settle down with a partner. As I continue on my life's journey and explore my inner self, I realize that this might not be in the cards for me. Rather than looking at this as a negative, I am quite content with my life and the decisions that have led me to this point thus far. If someone comes along to share and enrich my life, terrific. At the same time, I do not feel the need to "be in a relationship" simply to check off the box or to have a man around. I have a wonderful support system of family and friends as well as a need for space and time of my own. So the show and the film continue to reaffirm that whatever path you choose for your life, it will be ok. Love comes in many forms and thankfully for me, my cup runneth over.
