Giving Thanks

It is a cool and crisp morning here in the Bay Area.  I am heading over to Pietro and Deborah's house in a few hours to celebrate Thanksgiving with my good friends Daniela, John, and an assorted cast of characters.  I have much to be thankful this year, as always.  Not to jinx anything, but I feel like I lead a charmed life.  Yes, we all have our share of problems, but generally speaking I want for nothing.  Here are just a few things I am thankful for this year.

First off this year, I am thankful that I chose to leave my old employer and start with the city I now work for.  I will celebrate my one year anniversary in March and the switch has been everything I could have hoped for and more.  The people I work with are fun, kind and hardworking.  I did not realize what a black hole I worked in until I took the leap of faith and left.  I am thankful to have a home that I love.  I am thankful everyday for the privilege of living in this wonderful country where we are blessed with so many basic things that others around the world lack; clean water, an ample supply of food, a civil society that celebrates and encourages diversity, a relatively peaceful day to day life, clothing, and so much more.  I am thankful to have a decent car that runs and does not break down.  I am thankful for the public library system that is conveniently located next to my workplace.  I am thankful for music and art which inspire me daily.  I am thankful for NPR (and the BBC) because it fills a good amount of my driving time with reasonable discussion and analysis of issues versus the "gotcha" soundbites mainstream media coverage has become.  I am thankful to have a good stable job with (what I hope!) will turn out to be a good retirement plan.  I am thankful for the election of Barack Obama this year as I feel it is a sign of good things to come.  I am thankful for good affordable public education that is allowing me to attend college for twenty dollars a credit!  I am thankful for the Internet and how easy it makes our daily lives.  I am thankful for the Bay Area.  From it's natural beauty to our incredibly diverse and liberal society, I am thankful to call it home.  I am thankful for Peets, Jamba Juice, Chipotle, taco trucks, and cheap Thai restaurants.  Where would I be without all of you?  Very hungry.  I am thankful for a postal system that works 99.9% of the time and delivers mail and packages in a timely fashion.  I am thankful to books, newspapers, and literature as well as the education system that taught me to read and to dream.  It is hard to imagine life without reading.  I am also incredibly thankful for my DVR.  Silly, but true.

I am thankful to my parents.  Even though I bitch about them and our differing political views, they are genuinely great and selfless people who have only supported me and my five siblings as we have grown into the people that we are today.  I am thankful for having a large and loving family.  Geographically, we are spread far and wide across the country, but we still care for each other as best we can.  Finally (and most importantly), I am thankful for my amazing support network of friends (both local and not so local).  From catch up phone calls to silly text messages to dinner dates and special occasions, you are all the fabric squares that makes up my rich and colorful patchwork quilt of a life.  I am a very rich man because of the company that I am fortunate to keep.  Thank you to all of you.

I hope you all have a great holiday weekend.  Stuff yourselves today and shop like crazy tomorrow!  Cuidate.    

The H8 Debate

So the gay community in California has gone to war with the Christians.  No one is safe; Catholics, Mormons, or any other group.

I have to admit, this is a really tough issue for me personally.  I have always stated that I do not care about getting married.  My personal feeling is that the word "marriage" is what is the cause of all this trouble.  Religious people feel like they have ownership of the entire concept.  (Whenever you bring up the Britney Spears side of the sanctity of marriage as an argument, they usually start humming or just pretend they did not hear the question.)  For argument's sake, I am more than willing to give them the word.  If the federal government would confer upon me the same rights granted to straight couples, but call it a civil partnership, a funny buddy, non-holy union (any of those would work), then I would take it.  The main issue with civil unions up to this point is that they have been approved at the state level.  The majority of tax breaks and rights given to couples come from the federal government.  Eventually, one of these cases is going to find its way to the U.S. Supreme Court and that will force the issue.  (There are all sorts of state issues like recognition of same-sex marriages by different states that are beginning to be heard in local courts.)  My biggest fear is that with the current Supreme Court, gay marriage will be shot down for another twenty years or so.      

As timing is everything, I feel that this issue got pushed way too soon.  Gay people have been slowly making their way into the mainstream of American culture.  From out gay celebrities to a strong presence in the news and on reality TV, people in middle America are just beginning to realize that gay people are here to stay and they are not that scary.  As the PE teachers of America begin moving into suburban neighborhoods with their children and various animals, our visibility grows daily.  We really are at a tipping point in the psyche of Americans.  In another ten to fifteen years as older Americans die off, we will have a majority of people who favor gay rights.  But we do not have it now.  If we look at the history of same sex marriage rights in California, the Defense of Marriage Act passed in the year 2000 with a 61 to 39 percent majority.  This year, Proposition 8 passed with a 52 to 48 percent majority.  The tide is clearly in our favor.  We already have domestic partnerships.  If people could just be patient and give it a bit more time, I feel like this will be a no brainer.  

As with anything in life, you cannot let what others say or do define you.  If you are a gay couple and you want to get married, go ahead.  Since when have gay people wanted to be part of the mainstream anyway?  Who says you need a piece of paper to be committed to someone you choose to share your life with?  I wholeheartedly support my fellow gay Americans who want to protest.  I also thank all of the straight allies that are out there marching with them.  But it is not my time and this is not my fight.  

Hope you all have a great weekend.  Cuidate.

It's A New Day

I still have not come down from last week.

A New Day Has Come

What an amazing, amazing night for our great country. I must be frank, I had doubts this day would occur. Even though polls had been predicting an Obama victory for quite some time, I still felt it was going to be a long night and a closer election than it was. The economic crisis definitely give him a boost, but his appeal across southern states such as Florida, Virginia, and North Carolina and western states such as Nevada and New Mexico were a welcome surprise. Our country has broken through an enormous glass ceiling and it seems that more are destined to follow. We have our first female Speaker of the House who is third in line of succession to the Presidency. It is only a matter of time before we have our first female president. It now seems possible. With Barack Obama's election, so much now seems possible. I will remember this night in the same context as the other major historic events of my life; September 11th, the explosion of the shuttle Challenger, the Millennium, and (on a more personal level) my coming out of the closet at 22. There is also something thoughtful and reassuring about this eloquent young man with such a beautiful family in these unsettling times. Pundits have said, "Yeah, he can give a good speech. But what else can he do?" I would argue that a decent speech and an inspiring personal story are exactly what our citizens need at this moment. Just as Ronald Reagan was the right man for his time, I am confident that President Barack Obama will prove equally skillful and inspiring. The American people are ready to get their hands dirty and start giving of themselves to build a newer, better American society.

Amongst the celebrations of the evening, there was some disappointment in California. Voters approved Proposition 8 which amends the state constitution to define marriage as only being between a man and a woman. The nicest part of the Prop 8 mess has been the support of my straight friends and coworkers. Many have expressed outrage that such a proposition would even be put forth in 2008. I definitely live in San Francisco for a reason. As I have discussed before in this blog, being gay is a complete non-issue. Yes, there will always be ignorant and intolerant people in any community. However the overwhelming majority of people here are tolerant, if not openly supportive, of gay and lesbians. When the California Supreme Court declared gay marriage legal earlier this year, I was very wary of the ruling and I felt it came too soon. Society is gradually warming to the idea of gays and lesbians being out and visible in communities across the country, both urban and rural areas. But we are still in the early stages. I am confident in another ten years, gay marriage will be less of a hot button issue and will be overwhelmingly approved. In the year 2000, California voters approved a gay marriage ban by a ratio of 61 percent to 38 percent. This year, a similar ban was approved 52 percent to 48 percent. Give it time my friends, give it time. History and time are on our side.

To the horror of some of my friends, I was not in complete disbelief over Proposition 8. Rather, I was somewhat resigned to it and unsurprised that the enemies of gay people continue to live in fear of us. I have no idea who the fuck these people think they are and how we gays are "threatening" their "lifestyle". But I do not need a government nor a society to define whether or not my sexuality and my choices are socially acceptable. I encourage all of my gay brothers and sisters to live your best lives and not allow yourself to be defined by narrow mindedness. You will be a heck of a lot happier, I guarantee it.

76 days until Inauguration Day. Cuidate.