The Story of My Work Life

You know you have been a dispatcher too long when...

1.  You spend more on fast food than on utilities.

2.  You answer your home phone "dispatch".

3.  The only thing that gets your adrenaline going is the walk to and from your car.

4.  You find humor in other people's misery.

5.  You're only happy if you have something to complain about.

6.  Your idea of a good night involves someone getting shot at, chased, or dismembered.

7.  You consider patience a weakness, not a virtue.

8.  You have forgotten what it is like to actually eat a hot meal.

9.  Your dog does not recognize you and the kids think you are just the person who drops in every now and then to bring groceries and do laundry.

10.  You truly believe stupidity should be painful.

11.  You have ever put someone on hold so that you could laugh hysterically.

12.  If an officer screamed over the radio that a nuclear bomb had just been detonated, you would ask the 20 of the mushroom cloud and assign it a case number.

13.  Dinner consists of a 2 liter bottle of soda and whatever you can scrounge out of the vending machine.

14.  You see nothing wrong with discussing abdominal evisceration over dinner in a public restaurant...and you wonder why all the tables around you have cleared out.

15.  You hear a fire engine, ambulance, or police car go screaming by your house and wonder not what's happening, but who is going to the call.

16.  You read the newspaper accounts of a major incident that occurred during your shift and point out all the incorrect information.

17.  Family members comment on how nice you used to be before you started this job.

 18.  You believe in aerial spraying of PROZAC and/or birth control over certain parts of your city.

19.  You have no idea what a holiday is, other than it is the day when everyone gets drunk and beats up their family members.

20.  You can carry on more than four conversations simultaneously.

21.  You have the bladder capacity of a tanker truck.

22.  You can resume a conversation with co-workers four hours later, in mid-sentence, and everyone knows what you are talking about.

23.  You have a long term relationship with one or more paranoid, schizophrenic PTSD suffering relative of a public official.

24.  You have ever had to explain to a college educated, gainfully employed, tax paying property owner that his or her child's lack of interest in vegetables is not a police matter.

25.  You inform your new teenage driver, "I WILL ALWAYS KNOW!"

26.  You have ever muttered the phrase "They let him/her carry a gun?"

27.  You do not think it odd to find naked people, cows, buffalo, or any other bizarre thing running loose down Main Street.

Cuidate.

We Can All Dream Big

The video is much better than the live attempt went off. We have been called.

Cuidate.

An Impressive First Day

Despite all of the hype of the past few days, today's Inauguration met or exceeded expectations.  It was truly a historic and emotion filled day.  The first couple looked amazing.  The president's speech was inspirational, hopeful, and appropriate.   As Faith Hill said on Oprah yesterday, "We have been called."      

The real proof will come in the next few months.  As many pundits have rightly pointed out, George W Bush ran on a platform of uniting people and reaching across the aisle only to become the most divisive executive of the last few decades.  The new president has some formidable tasks on his plate and it will take years to even put a dent in the majority of them.  Not only that, it will take the reluctant cooperation of Senate Republicans who still have the minimum amount of seats to filibuster legislation and may feel the need to flex their power.  Only time will tell.  

Today was all about celebration though.  The world celebrated along with our nation as we continued our tradition of peaceful and orderly transition.  Even though we are a young nation, we have managed to get some things right over the years.  God Bless America!

Cuidate.

Random Stuff in the New Year

So I was working on a post last week, but it still is not done.  I am a bit of a perfectionist, so nothing ever seems good enough.  It will be coming soon.  Instead, you get to enjoy the random meaningless thoughts of MSC.

The Golden Globes were fabulous.  I am such a huge fan of Kate Winslet and her double win was well deserved and a long time in coming.  I have not yet seen Revolutionary Road, but The Reader really was extraordinary.  She seems like such a genuine person (very Sarah Jessica Parker-like) and is quite possibly the finest actress of her generation.  Not only is she hugely talented, but she makes great choices in the projects that she does.  The UK crowd stole the show as they tend to do.  Colin Farrell, Ricky Gervais, Emma Thompson and Sacha Baron Cohen were all hysterical and so witty.  I am a big fan.  Finally, Slumdog Millionaire swept many of the major categories including best picture and best director.  My friend Brian convinced me to see the film a couple of weeks ago and I had not heard much about it prior to seeing it.  It is quite an amazing film and truly captures the spirit of India in many ways.  Be forewarned, it is a visually and emotionally harsh film, but it is a must see.

We have had a few days of unseasonably warm temperatures here in the Bay Area.  Even though it is great to have seventy degree days in January, I cannot help the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that we may have reached the tipping point already with global warming.  The next ten years are going to be critical in the fight for the environment.  Let us hope that elected officials have the backbone to push through some real policy change and emissions reductions in the near future.

Kellie and I are heading off to Mexico City at the beginning of February for a few days.  I am looking forward to exploring more of this great city.  We will be doing lots of touristy stuff of course, but I am looking forward to some killer food too.  Carnitas anyone?

I have a new secret addiction.  My work colleagues have taken to calling it "the place that must not be named" for fear I might make an extra trip simply by hearing the name.  Yes my friends, I am now a proud member of Costco.  I had avoided shopping there in recent years because I did not think there would be much for me (the single guy that does not cook) there.  Oh how wrong I was!  I recently purchased a new cell phone there and I also scooped up a good number of gift cards for Christmas gifts.  So far I have shown good restraint (I escaped my last trip with a bill of $70), but I do get a strangely giddy feeling just thinking about my next shopping trip there.  There are so many unnecessary items that you never knew you needed!  It is worse, much worse than Target.  So if you call me and I do not answer my phone, I am probably at the place that must not be named buying a rotisserie chicken or 18 bars of soap for seven dollars.  

A work colleague left for what sounded like a really cool African adventure last week.  She was flying in to Johannesburg, South Africa and then planning to trek up to Tanzania with her boyfriend and cousin who is just finishing a stint with the Peace Corps.  I helped her out with her travel plans, recommending flights, travel tips, and setting her up with the right people to get all of the immunizations she was going to need.  She e-mailed me when she landed in South Africa, but I have not heard anything since.  Not that there are Internet cafes on every corner in the bush, but my supervisor S and I are starting to get a bit concerned.  We have sent a few messages just saying, "Hey, just let us know you are ok."  No response in over a week now.  Trish, where are you?!?  Write us back girl.  We have bad visions in our heads of you in some rural non-sterile hospital under a mosquito net with yellow fever.

At the recommendation of my brother and sister, I plowed through the Twilight series of books after my classes finished in December and January.  Overall, they were decent reading.  The fourth book was by far the best, but I suppose you needed the first few to set that up.  One and two were good, but I started to get really annoyed with Bella through three and that did not let up until close to the end of four which I finished yesterday.  We all were so spoiled by JK Rowling and the Harry Potter series that I do not know if anything will compare with that level of writing and detail in the future.  Thanks for recommending those Mike and Kathy!

Not too much else going on.  My friend Christi is coming out for a visit on Sunday for a few days, so looking forward to seeing her and hanging out.  Which reminds me, I have to clean my apartment.  Alright all, hope you are all doing well.

Cuidate.

Happy 2009!

Hope you all had a great New Year!  Cuidate.