It's all about the money...

Is there ever enough cash to go around? When I was young, I did not imagine the financial pressures that life would present.

I live in San Francisco which has been one of the great loves of my life. I have attempted to run away several times, but always come back crying for her to take me back. She always smiles and welcomes me home with open arms. On top of the breathtaking natural beauty of this city, the people that live here make the city what it is. As a whole, they are intelligent, tolerant, perceptive, curious, and open minded. It's quite unlike any other place that I've lived in the United States.

My one issue with San Francisco is that she is not a cheap date. To live here means that you make sacrifices. I am 32 years old and am feeling the pressure to own a home. Here in San Francisco, that is almost impossible. I would love to get a loft or a flat someplace, am not feeling the need to have a house specifically. Even those start at $300,000 or more for a dump. The average decent loft that I've seen and liked is $500,000 or more. Big numbers. Basically, you're looking at $100,000 just for a down payment. That's a lot o' saving that you've got to do just to be able to qualify for the killer mortgage you're about to encounter. Even with a partner of some sort, it's a huge amount of moula. Alone, it is daunting to say the least. Renting is not a lot better. A one bedroom apartment in the city averages $1,000 a month or more. Definitely cheaper than a mortgage, but that's a lot of money that is flying out the window.

Financially, I always have the feeling that it will never be enough. I accepted a job last September which is paying me a salary that is about 30-40% more than my previous career. While I feel like I am finally in a better position to save for retirement and plan for my future, there is that sinking suspicion that it isn't enough. That it will never be enough to live comfortably here in the Bay Area. At times like this, I am very thankful that I am gay and have no children. As I have seen from my family and friends, kids are not cheap. I don't know how I would manage if I had a child to provide for. My hat is off to all of you that manage to do it.

I see the same financial pressures in people all around me. We all struggle and make sacrafices to live here. Most of us either live with roommates or drive our cars until they're older. We rent instead of buying. A friend of mine lost his job a few weeks ago and is freaking now as his credit card bills climb and he's doing the interview circuit trying to get a job. As I see him struggling, it brings up fears in me that I could be in his shoes very easily.

For the past 8 years, I have always waited tables and bar tended part-time to make extra cash. I don't dislike the work. In fact, I enjoy being busy and have met some of my best friends through the restaurant business. As I am now 32 though, I'm feeling a little old compared to my college student peers. I'm not going really into going out and doing shots after work anymore. I'd rather get an extra hour or two of sleep. Sad, but true. As I contemplate leaving my restaurant job in June, it is definitely making me nervous as the job has always been a safety blanket to me. I could always count on the extra $200 bucks a week to play with or to put towards a credit card bill or something. I will be finished training with my new full-time job in June and will be able to pick up overtime there, but it's definitely going to be strange not putting on the black pants, the white shirt, the dirty tie and apron week after week. Then again, all of my friends who bitch at me and say, "Are you still at that tired restaurant? Oh my God, WHY?" ain't gonna be able to say it anymore. Ha ha ha....

Cuidate.