My Reality Top 5

Reality TV is the crack cocaine of television programming. Even though you have a hundred other things you could (or likely should) be doing, you get sucked in. Here are the top 5 shows that have occupied hours and hours of my time. (I might have a college degree if I didn't have such an short attention span, come to think about it.)

1. Project Runway

There is nothing better than Runway. Tim Gunn, Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, Heidi Klum. Damn... I'm sweating just thinking about next season. Santino so should have won this year. I hated his style through the season, but his final show pieces were beautiful. Chloe's line was shit. Can anyone say Cirque du Soleil? Never say Auf Wiedersehen...

2. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

The Fab 5 making over helpless and hopeless straight men. The show was better in the first couple of seasons before all of the commercial product placements of this season. Still, the gay humor and the bonding that inevitably occurs between gays and straights is always great at the end. It's a fun guilty pleasure.

3. Real World / Road Rules Challenges

This is the ultimate example of reality shows that suck you in despite the absurdity of the situation. Let's take former reality tv stars and then have them compete against each other. Let's mass produce these shows and then air them back to back to back. It's the soap opera of the new millennium. The worst part is, if you miss one challenge, then you are completely lost as to who slept with who and who fought with who. With this show, I am constantly struggling to figure out who's acting and who's truly being themselves.

4. The Osbournes

The true beginning of reality shows that followed people around for the hell of it. Watching this show on DVD is actually a lot more enjoyable because 50% of the show is not bleeped out. Between the dogs, Sharon, Ozzie, Kellie and Jack, the show is just funny. It's such an unorthodox family and the f bombs just fly. The accents are icing on the cake.

5. The Girls Next Door

Yet again proving my point that there is no rhyme or reason why you like a show, The Girls Next Door just sucks you in. Following Hugh Hefner's girlfriends around their not-so-fabulous lives in and out of the Playboy Mansion? Com'n! Why would a gay man be transfixed with this show? Oh, but I am. It's completely mind numbing, there is no substance. It's the sugar wafers of reality shows. Damn it's good.

Two shows that I take issue with are Survivor and Top Chef. I admit, if I'm channel surfing and I run across it, I will watch Survivor. On an ethical level however, there's something that bothers me about people exploiting themselves and getting fame and exposure simply because they are put on an island and starve themselves for a month. Millions of people starve to death worldwide every year and yet they don't get entertainment contracts, compensation and television appearances. It tweaks me the wrong way and I find it in very poor taste. Top Chef bugs me because it's such an obvious rip off of Runway. Plus I find Katie Lee Joel so annoying. Apparently she's Billy Joel's new wife. Who knew? The tone of her voice makes me wanna scratch my nails on a chalkboard.

Cuidate.