We'll have a gay old time...

So I was reading The Advocate (the gay equivalent of Newsweek) tonight on my lunch hour. There's an article by Alec Mapa on the last page entitled Braver than I am. It's a very interesting article and something I give thought to often.

His argument is that it's pretty easy being gay in Los Angeles versus, say, Tulsa. Here's his take on things.

I've traveled around the country speaking at fund-raisers for LGBT causes. In Ohio a local politician told me, "I applaud your bravery. It takes a lot of courage to be who you are." My immediate response was, "Not really." I live in Los Angeles. It doesn't take courage to be gay in Los Angeles. It takes a good personal trainer, stylist, and Zone delivery person, but courage? Hardly. It takes courage to be gay in Williamsburg, Ky., where you can be expelled from college because of a gay MySpace profile. At LGBT fund-raisers in L.A., some reporter invariably asks, "Aren't we over this?" I usually reply, "Wouldn't it be amazing if we were?"

I definitely feel some guilt for living such a comfortable life in San Francisco. Being gay in this city is pretty much a non-issue. Truthfully, that's likely why I love it here so much. People are very friendly, open, and accepting of others. That's not to say that we don't have our share of homophobic people running around town yelling, "Fucking faggots!", but I feel comfortable being openly affectionate in public with men in the Bay Area. When I would fly around the country and layover in smaller cities in conservative states, it could be such a reality check. The one issue that comes to mind immediately is one time when I was in Hong Kong. I had forgotten the name of the local gay bars there and asked the concierge at the hotel. He quickly turned 3 shades of white and said, "Uh, I wouldn't know where those bars are." Undaunted, I countered, "Well, could you ask around the hotel? I'm sure there's someone on staff who would know." to which he replied, "No one here would know that kind of information!" I was very surprised because Hong Kong is very much an East meets West kind of city and this was a 4 star hotel. I fired off a scathing letter to the general manager about the lack of service and poor behavior of his concierge staff. It's funny because in much more macho cities like Buenos Aires or Dallas or Boston as an example, I had never had an issue.

It's definitely more convenient to live in a city where there are a large amount of gay people for dating, socializing, etc. I imagine living in a small rural town would cut down on your dating options. I know the internet has brought community to millions of people, but it's not the same as having places where you're welcome to gather and be who you are. I applaud those of you who have made the choice to stay and be out in your small communities. It's an option I never felt was valid for me, but I admire those of you that have the courage to do it. You inspire the next generation in more ways than you can imagine.