September 11th

No matter what one does to try and forget the horrible day of September 11th, 2001, it does not work. I sincerely hope that I will not see another day like that in my lifetime. Whenever footage from that day appears on television, I either change the channel or leave.

It is hard to believe that it has been six years since we all woke up in disbelief to what was happening. Living in San Francisco, my phone started ringing with concerned friends and relatives calling around 6 AM. I was a flight attendant for United Airlines; so many people were justifiably worried. I was actually supposed to fly that morning out of Oakland, but I had traded my trip to attend some kind of training with the company the next day. When the video footage of a United Boeing 767 flying into the South Tower began to be played again and again and AGAIN, it was clear that we had lost colleagues and friends. I went over to my friend Brian's house and we sat watching the television dumbstruck. Everyone with any inside company information began spreading rumors of which employees were on which flights. (In cases of major accidents or crashes, the company immediately blacks out employee access to the crew and passenger manifests. So unless you knew exactly what flight someone was on that morning, there was a lot of anxious waiting and a lack of information until the next day when names were released.) Looking back, did we really need to replay the same footage over and over and over again? I think we got it when the towers had collapsed by the second run through.

The emotions of that day still sit so raw with me. As time passes, it gets harder rather than easier to speak about them and ponder them. My entire life and the course of the lives of most of my friends and colleagues at that time changed in an instant. Our training for any type of event like this was nonexistent. While we were trained in hijacking scenarios in our initial training, it had been so many years since anyone had attempted to hijack a U.S. aircraft. The idea of it happening to me was not even a realistic possibility in my mind. A good number of my colleagues were trapped all over the country in remote locations or overseas for up to a week. I thank the Lord that I was fortunate enough to be home when the September 11th attacks occurred. At least I had access to my friends, my cell phone, my car, and my bed. These things kept me sane.

It is hard to remember what life was like before. No TSA, no taking your shoes off before going through security, being able to carry a Coke in your bag, and the worst thing possible happening was an obnoxious drunk passenger on one of your flights. The airlines declared bankruptcy shortly after the attacks and our entire lives as airline employees continued to change traumatically. Pay cuts of 30 percent or more, our pension plan collapsing, half of the airline workforce seeking anti-depressants, therapy, and more. I was a good flight attendant. Check that, I was a great flight attendant. I enjoyed what I was doing and my co-workers and I were looking forward to gaining seniority, making more money, and being able to fly more international. I do not know if I would have been a flight attendant forever, but I truly loved my life pre-9/11. I have friends who have stuck it out with United and many (like myself) who chose to move on. For those that continue to fly, it is a struggle. They fly more hours, make less money, and have little to offer passengers in the way of in-flight service. The company has and continues to treat its employees like garbage. In my case, I felt like a battered spouse when I left. I had reached my limit and I refused to take being treated inhumanely anymore.

People from the airline biz who I run into now always ask me, "Don't you miss it?" The answer is yes. But I do not miss the job that they do today. I miss the job that I was hired to do and the job that I was a success at. I miss my old hangouts (Okonomiyaki in Osaka, the Star Ferry in Hong Kong, the Flower Market in Amsterdam, The Telephone in Bangkok, The Marais in Paris) and habits (red beans and rice in New Orleans, fish tacos in San Diego, clam chowder in Boston, and shopping in Toronto). I miss the companionship and the wacky personalities of people from all walks of life that I came to love, admire, respect, and hate (Dee Dee Vecherelli, I know you are out there somewhere). I miss being a part of a workforce of people that were so diverse. Everyone is a flight attendant for different reasons. Some people love the travel benefits, some people do it for more time off, mothers like being able to tweak their schedules and others do it for the benefits (or lack thereof these days!). I became a flight attendant because I loved airplanes and working at the airport ticket counter paid very little. I have always been fascinated with aircraft and that continues to be true. Whenever I board an aircraft these days, the smell of the airplane hits me and the memories come flooding back. Jet fuel fumes in the morning, chopping ice, passing out pretzels, working business class galley on the 777, spilling coffee on an ANGRY coach passenger, Isaac Mizrahi telling me the glitter on my face was fabulous, and being purser of a 747-400 heading halfway across the globe. These (and many, many more) are memories that I will have for the rest of my life and that I treasure. I also met most of my closest and dearest friends through the airlines. All in all, I guess it was worth it.

September 11th is and quite possibly could be the most traumatic day of my life. It drastically altered the course of our nation and it personally affected my life in a profound way. My prayers and fervent wishes for peace go out to the families and friends who lost loved ones six years ago. We will never forget those who died on that day.

Cuidate.