Stupid Turkey Facts

In honor of Benjamin Franklin's candidate for our national bird and the 45 million Turkeys that will be consumed today across the world, I proudly present Stupid Turkey Facts.

1. 45 million turkeys are consumed on Thanksgiving versus 22 million on Christmas Day and 19 million on Easter.

2. The black-feathered turkeys one sees in the wild are not the same as the commercially raised turkeys we eat for dinner.

3. Wild turkeys can fly for short distances at speeds of up to 55 mph, but commercially raised turkeys cannot fly because they are too top heavy.

4. Selective breeding of turkeys has caused their breasts to grow so large that they fall over. A 15 pound turkey consists of 70 percent white meat and 30 percent dark meat.

5. Wild turkeys can run 20 mph. They also have excellent hearing and vision and can see 270 degrees around. So sneak up on one from behind people.

6. Wild turkeys spent the night in trees, preferably oak trees.

7. It is possible for a turkey to drown if it looks up while it is raining.

8. Wild turkeys almost became extinct in the early 1900s. Today they are found in every state, but Alaska.

9. A turkey is considered mature after 15 months. Hell, I am 34 and I am still not considered mature!

Here is hoping that everyone has a great holday weekend, eats lots of turkey, and sets up their tent outside Best Buy at 1 AM.

Cuidate y feliz Día de Acción de Gracias.