SEX - The Review Is In

Friday might as well have been a holiday throughout the U.S. The girls of Sex and the City hit the big screen in a big way four years after the end of the landmark television series. I had purchased my tickets weeks in advance and my gal pal Kellie accompanied me to the packed theatre in downtown San Francisco. Kellie will be filing her own review as a guest blogger within the next couple of days.

(I do not want to spoil the film for those of you who have not seen it yet, so I will not be giving away any spoilers.) I give the film a four star rating out of five. To be frank, expectations for the film from me were low. I would have been happy with just about anything they did. The girls looked amazing, the clothing, the music, and the cinematography of the film were right in sync with the television show. New York City has never looked better nor more inviting than it does in this film. My main issue was two fold; the story line and the participation of the male cast in the film. The film started out wonderfully, but then reached a point about half an hour in that I found unrealistic. It seems writer and director Michael Patrick King needed to write this particular angle into the film to drive the plot for the next ninety minutes. Unlike most of the other story lines throughout the six years of the series, this one did not ring true for me. It was overly dramatic and did not honor the characters lives over the past four years as I felt it should have. Secondly, the men of the cast were relegated to mere cameos. Big seemed a mere shadow of himself in this film, Steve is dressed frumpy and written to be a mere extension of Miranda, and Harry might as well not even be in the film. Smith seems to get a good deal of screen time, but does little with it. Stanford and Anthony also make mere cameo appearances, though they provided some great humor for the little screen time they were given. So that is my bitch session. Still, overall it was still entertaining, funny, and emotional in many spots. Jennifer Hudson is also a wonderful addition to the cast and really owns her role. I will certainly be going again to see it and I am sure the film DVD will proudly take its place alongside my well worn six seasons of DVDs.


I happened to be reading some comments on a BBC article about the film earlier in the week and I was shocked at the negativity of many. It seems that men (or at least British men in this case) and some women as well do not understand the show and seem to hate it in many cases. Women who live in urban areas and gay men make up a good portion of the loyal fan base for the show. For the women, there is a certain amount of appreciation for a show that speaks to their lives and lifestyles. Sex and the City defined the modern woman. It brought "out of the closet" so to speak the reality that single women were having sex and a good amount of it. The frank discussions of sex, emotions, and men amongst the girls made it ok to discuss subjects that were previously taboo. In many places, I suppose these subjects still are! Another revolutionary concept brought forth was that it is ok to be a single woman in her thirties or forties. Even though the bulk of the characters end up paired up, the show boldly made the statement that one can create their own definition of family, friends, and relationships in this day and age.

As a gay man, the show speaks to us on many levels. The first two seasons of the show were written by a mostly gay male writing staff and it shows in both the frankness of the conversations and the quick witted humor. Gay men are masters of the conversation and take no prisoners. Most will also answer any question you pose to them honestly and without the filtering that mainstream society holds the straights to. Gay men also tend to move to urban areas (fondly known as "gay ghettos") where they can form communities of acceptance to their non-traditional lifestyles. In the many interviews with both the female cast and Michael Patrick King over the past few weeks, all were quick to point out that the show was purposely written to be about these four ladies and the family that they have created for themselves. When one lives in an urban area, you do not often meet the extended family of the people you hang with. Either they come to visit sporadically or your friends "go home to visit", but in almost all cases these visits tend to be awkward and looked upon with a certain sense of dread. In my case, I love my biological family very much. But after living in likely the most liberal urban area of the United States, going to visit the family in rural America seems almost like visiting a foreign country. When you are used to a visual diet of Priuses, designer dogs, Thai restaurants, and medicinal marijuana clinics, it is quite a shock to encounter Wal-Marts, enormous gas guzzling trucks with large American flag bumper stickers, people in flannel shirts, and FOX News as a serious news source. The writers of the show made a conscious effort to never introduce the parents or a large number of family members of the four girls into the show because it is not a realistic part of the urban living experience. So this part of the show also strikes a big chord with me. Being able to choose your family in our culture (either gay or straight) allows you to surround yourself with people who love you, accept you, support you, and do not make demands of you that a biological family might make.

Finally, the film and the show continue to be what Michael Patrick King calls "a valentine" to people that are single. I know that all of the people in my life care for me incredibly and simply want the best for me. But there is pressure, from both family and friends, that I settle down with a partner. As I continue on my life's journey and explore my inner self, I realize that this might not be in the cards for me. Rather than looking at this as a negative, I am quite content with my life and the decisions that have led me to this point thus far. If someone comes along to share and enrich my life, terrific. At the same time, I do not feel the need to "be in a relationship" simply to check off the box or to have a man around. I have a wonderful support system of family and friends as well as a need for space and time of my own. So the show and the film continue to reaffirm that whatever path you choose for your life, it will be ok. Love comes in many forms and thankfully for me, my cup runneth over.


Hope you are all doing well. Cuidate.