The H8 Debate

So the gay community in California has gone to war with the Christians.  No one is safe; Catholics, Mormons, or any other group.

I have to admit, this is a really tough issue for me personally.  I have always stated that I do not care about getting married.  My personal feeling is that the word "marriage" is what is the cause of all this trouble.  Religious people feel like they have ownership of the entire concept.  (Whenever you bring up the Britney Spears side of the sanctity of marriage as an argument, they usually start humming or just pretend they did not hear the question.)  For argument's sake, I am more than willing to give them the word.  If the federal government would confer upon me the same rights granted to straight couples, but call it a civil partnership, a funny buddy, non-holy union (any of those would work), then I would take it.  The main issue with civil unions up to this point is that they have been approved at the state level.  The majority of tax breaks and rights given to couples come from the federal government.  Eventually, one of these cases is going to find its way to the U.S. Supreme Court and that will force the issue.  (There are all sorts of state issues like recognition of same-sex marriages by different states that are beginning to be heard in local courts.)  My biggest fear is that with the current Supreme Court, gay marriage will be shot down for another twenty years or so.      

As timing is everything, I feel that this issue got pushed way too soon.  Gay people have been slowly making their way into the mainstream of American culture.  From out gay celebrities to a strong presence in the news and on reality TV, people in middle America are just beginning to realize that gay people are here to stay and they are not that scary.  As the PE teachers of America begin moving into suburban neighborhoods with their children and various animals, our visibility grows daily.  We really are at a tipping point in the psyche of Americans.  In another ten to fifteen years as older Americans die off, we will have a majority of people who favor gay rights.  But we do not have it now.  If we look at the history of same sex marriage rights in California, the Defense of Marriage Act passed in the year 2000 with a 61 to 39 percent majority.  This year, Proposition 8 passed with a 52 to 48 percent majority.  The tide is clearly in our favor.  We already have domestic partnerships.  If people could just be patient and give it a bit more time, I feel like this will be a no brainer.  

As with anything in life, you cannot let what others say or do define you.  If you are a gay couple and you want to get married, go ahead.  Since when have gay people wanted to be part of the mainstream anyway?  Who says you need a piece of paper to be committed to someone you choose to share your life with?  I wholeheartedly support my fellow gay Americans who want to protest.  I also thank all of the straight allies that are out there marching with them.  But it is not my time and this is not my fight.  

Hope you all have a great weekend.  Cuidate.