A somewhat desperate and vain attempt to quiet the naysayers in my head
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Movie Friday
It's very interesting to look back and see that most of the movies I watch and recommend aren't American films. I suppose it's my inevitable search for what's beyond the horizon.
This week's film is set in the U.S., but features an amazing Irish cast. It was released in 2002 and is entitled In America. This film is likely in my top 5 films of all time. It is amazing, raw, magical, breathtaking, I'm running out of adjectives. In America garnered several Academy Award nominations, but unfortunately the narrator of the film Christy Sullivan (played by the amazing 11 year old Sarah Bolger) did not receive an Academy Award nomination. New Zealander Keisha Castle-Hughes garnered a nomination for her performance in Whale Rider the same year, so apparently the Academy felt it couldn't nominate two young actresses in the same category.
The movie tells the story of a family that moves to New York City in the early 80s in the wake of the death of a child. The film is loosely based on the true story of the director Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father) and his family's move to New York City. Samantha Morton and Dijimon Hounsou were both nominated for supporting acting Oscars and Paddy Considine also gives a strong performance as the father of the family who is emotionally detached from everything in his life.
A good part of the film is shot through the eyes of Christy's camcorder and I was completely transfixed. Growing up in a Catholic family and being part Irish, I related to a lot of the issues that surfaced in the film. The film is so powerful, it leaves you an emotional wreck, albeit a good one at the end of the film. Few films move me the way this one did. I highly recommend you rent or purchase this film. If by chance one of your best friends in the whole universe gave it to you as a birthday gift and you've never watched it, I suggest you dig out of the your dvd collection and watch it. (Cough...Suzanne Daniels...Cough Cough...)
Reality TV is the crack cocaine of television programming. Even though you have a hundred other things you could (or likely should) be doing, you get sucked in. Here are the top 5 shows that have occupied hours and hours of my time. (I might have a college degree if I didn't have such an short attention span, come to think about it.)
1. Project Runway
There is nothing better than Runway. Tim Gunn, Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, Heidi Klum. Damn... I'm sweating just thinking about next season. Santino so should have won this year. I hated his style through the season, but his final show pieces were beautiful. Chloe's line was shit. Can anyone say Cirque du Soleil? Never say Auf Wiedersehen...
2. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
The Fab 5 making over helpless and hopeless straight men. The show was better in the first couple of seasons before all of the commercial product placements of this season. Still, the gay humor and the bonding that inevitably occurs between gays and straights is always great at the end. It's a fun guilty pleasure.
3. Real World / Road Rules Challenges
This is the ultimate example of reality shows that suck you in despite the absurdity of the situation. Let's take former reality tv stars and then have them compete against each other. Let's mass produce these shows and then air them back to back to back. It's the soap opera of the new millennium. The worst part is, if you miss one challenge, then you are completely lost as to who slept with who and who fought with who. With this show, I am constantly struggling to figure out who's acting and who's truly being themselves.
4. The Osbournes
The true beginning of reality shows that followed people around for the hell of it. Watching this show on DVD is actually a lot more enjoyable because 50% of the show is not bleeped out. Between the dogs, Sharon, Ozzie, Kellie and Jack, the show is just funny. It's such an unorthodox family and the f bombs just fly. The accents are icing on the cake.
5. The Girls Next Door
Yet again proving my point that there is no rhyme or reason why you like a show, The Girls Next Door just sucks you in. Following Hugh Hefner's girlfriends around their not-so-fabulous lives in and out of the Playboy Mansion? Com'n! Why would a gay man be transfixed with this show? Oh, but I am. It's completely mind numbing, there is no substance. It's the sugar wafers of reality shows. Damn it's good. Two shows that I take issue with are Survivor and Top Chef. I admit, if I'm channel surfing and I run across it, I will watch Survivor. On an ethical level however, there's something that bothers me about people exploiting themselves and getting fame and exposure simply because they are put on an island and starve themselves for a month. Millions of people starve to death worldwide every year and yet they don't get entertainment contracts, compensation and television appearances. It tweaks me the wrong way and I find it in very poor taste. Top Chef bugs me because it's such an obvious rip off of Runway. Plus I find Katie Lee Joel so annoying. Apparently she's Billy Joel's new wife. Who knew? The tone of her voice makes me wanna scratch my nails on a chalkboard.
I had to work day shift (6 am-5 pm) this weekend and it was not a pleasant experience. I usually get up between 10 am and noon, so the 4 am alarm was pretty foul. It reminded me of my old flight attendant days when you'd wake up at 1 am in London or Seoul and not be able to get back to sleep even though you had a 7 am departure from the hotel.
Saturday night, I went to a birthday party for my friend Nick. We had unimpressive Chinese food in the Castro and then went bar hopping for a bit. Is it me or has the Pilsner died in recent years? I remember a few years ago, the Pilsner had some decent looking guys and a decent sized crowd. These days, it seems like a ghost town and the guys that are present aren't cute at all. After reading through some stuff on the internet, I guess the bar is attracting more lesbians these days. I love the girls, but it always provides for the inevitable dyke/homo gay bar conflict. The gay men look at the pool table as a great resting pad after standing and modeling for an hour or so. The pool table allows you to sit and model. The ultimate in gay laziness. However, a group of lesbians usually come along and say, "Hey, we want to play pool!" So the gays begrudgingly give up the table and stand up. What they fail to realize is, they can't just stand up and continue to occupy space by the table because the lesbians must now engage in their Las Vegas Pool tournament antics of getting every shot in at the perfect angle. They break and then start to occupy the entire area around the table while positioning for their shots. As a gay man who has little interest in play pool, I must admit, the lesbians annoy me when they do this. In a crowded bar with little room to move, why must we endure the constant "Excuse me, I need to make my shot!" poking. Then again, I'm sure they're very much annoyed by us as well.
So it is now Monday and I have the next few days free off. I slept in until 11 am this morning and I feel like a new man. The rain has disappeared as well and spring is here. Something to celebrate for sure.
This week, I am recommending The Motorcycle Diaries staring Gael Garcia Bernal as a young Che Guevara and Rodrigo De la Serna as his best friend Alberto Granado. The movie is based upon the memories of Che Guevara and tell the story of a motorcycle trip in his early 20s that inspired and changed the course of his life.
This movie is in Spanish and is subtitled, so if you can't hack that, move on. Again, as in Central Station, this movie brings forth the amazing and unspoiled beauty of South America. Seeing everything from the pampas of Argentina to the mountains and lakes of Chile to Machu Picchu to the villages of the Amazon rain forest, your breath is taken away by scene after scene of wonder. The movie (and the real ride) took place in the early 1950s, so it is always interesting to look back and see how many things have changed and yet, many things stay the same.
Bernal brings forth a youthful exuberance and freshness to this role that could have easily been cliche. Che Guevara studied medicine and became a physician, but eventually involved himself in politics and guerilla fighting to right the injustices he saw in the world. He became a Marxist and assisted in the Guatemalan social revolution of 1951 before becoming a key player in Fidel Castro's Communist Cuban revolution between 1956 and 1959. Eventually, with the help of the CIA, he was assassinated by local Army forces in Bolivia on October 9, 1967. The principles and ideals that Che espoused live on today as does his memory. This movie captures the events that inspired this man to accomplish all he did in his short lifetime.
Yes, it is an idealistic film and a bit preachy, but I thoroughly enjoyed the film and I feel strongly that you will too.
Boeing is developing a new plane that will hit the skies in 2008. It's called the 787 Dreamliner. Using revolutionary technologies and composite materials, the 787 will utilize 20 percent less fuel than a similar sized plane, the 767.
Passengers will see increased space in the cabin, higher humidity, revolutionary new lighting systems to simulate different times of day, and a quieter ride.
Boeing took a big risk in going after this share of the market. For the last few years, the press has been touting the super giant Airbus A380 which is due to hit the market in the second quarter of 2007. US commercial carriers have yet to order any of the giant 2 deck aircraft which can hold over 800 people in an all coach configuration. (Fedex and UPS have ordered cargo versions of the giants.)
Boeing has said for years that the market was moving away from larger aircraft flying from hub airports (ie. Los Angeles - London or New York - Tokyo) to smaller aircraft flying from airports closer to travelers (ie. Seattle - Tokyo or Phoenix - London) and bet their future on it. Boeing has received 379 orders and counting for their smaller, more efficient aircraft. Airbus, meanwhile, has received only 159 orders for their bigger competitor.
I am looking forward to seeing both planes in the skies by 2008. Must admit though, my dreams are of 787s as of late. Bigger isn't always better in my book.
I miss my girls - Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, Samantha. They really did leave us wanting more. I miss Sex and the City. Horribly.
I have every season except season 5 (Thanks for nothing Trina!) on DVD and I watch them constantly. The writing was so superb and topical. I do wonder where Carrie got all of her money to buy those fabulous clothes, but everything else was right on point. Inevitably, one wonders which one of the girls you are (if you're a girl or a gay man). I definitely feel like Miranda. When we first laid eyes on Miranda, she wasn't much to look at. All buttoned up, type A overachiever. As the show progressed, I believe she grew the most of the 4 girls. Her wedding was stunning, beautiful and so amazingly sweet. I also love her relationship with Steve and her character becoming a mother. Miranda also had the honor of having the funniest moment in the entire series. Episode 16 in the second season was titled They Shoot Single People, Don't They?. Miranda was dating a man who was horrible in bed. She debates whether or not to tell him, but finally does. She tries to school him on how to be a better lover, but in the end, it just doesn't work. Her faking an orgasm at the end of the show was the funniest moment on the show for six years. The expression she had on her face (and we have all been there) was so funny, I pissed myself laughing. But overall, Miranda is kind of a geek and awkward socially and I definitely identify with her in that respect.
Carrie is a mess romantically, but as a person, is so strong and loyal and rich in character. I also absolutely love Sarah Jessica Parker's high pitched squeal and laugh. It's infectious and makes me laugh every time I hear it. I loved the episode in season 3 What Goes Around Comes Around where Carrie gets held up and the thief takes her shoes. Also the final episode when she is asleep in that stunning ostrich dress in Petrovsky's hotel suite. Or when she trips at the fashion show in season 4's The Real Me. My best friend had Sarah Jessica Parker as a passenger on one of his flights and said she is completely charming and kind in person. It's always nice to see that when a celebrity turns out to be as nice as you'd hope.
Charlotte and Samantha, I don't identify quite as much with. I liked how Charlotte started the series with this big picture in her head of how her life was going to be and it ended up being quite different than that. Yet, it was just as wonderful as she hoped it would be. I think my favorite Charlotte moments were her first wedding (season 3's episode Don't Ask, Don't Tell) and the moment in the cafe when they all agree to be each others soul mates (season 4's The Agony and the Ex-tacy). Samantha always proves to be a force to be reckoned with. I admire Samantha for her incredible self-confidence and willingness to try anything once. She's also always loyal to Carrie through thick and thin. Probably my favorite Samantha episode was season 3's Running with Scissors. Samantha takes her first HIV test and the interview with the nurse is monumentally funny. Also, season 5's Critical Condition where Samantha discovers that Sharper Image doesn't sell vibrators is truly a hoot.
In the end, Sex and the City succeeded because it was real. The girls were our friends and we were lucky to know them for the short time that we did. The show made me laugh, it made me cry, and it will go down in history as one of the best shows (if not the best) of our time.
This week, I'd like to recommend a Brazilian film from the late nineties Central Station.
The main character of the film is Dora, an older woman who works at the central station in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Her job is to write letters for people who aren't able to write letters themselves. Life hasn't been easy for Dora and she's pretty bitter about everything. Her life, her job, she hates it all. One of Dora's customers dictates a letter to an ex-lover telling him that he's the father of her child. Tragically, the mother is hit by a bus outside the station and killed. Her son Josue is orphaned with nowhere to go. Dora takes pity on Josue and takes him in. After a few twists and turns, they embark upon a journey across Brazil to find Josue's father.
One of the reasons I love this film is that it shows you a wide variety of scenes from many different parts of Brazil. In the U.S., we don't see or hear much about South America in the news. Brazil is the largest country in South America and has the fifth largest population in the world. (The United States is third behind China and India.) They have an incredibly rich and diverse population including a large Japanese community. Their national language is Portuguese making Brazil one of the few nations in South America that does not have Spanish as their official language. In the next few years, Brazil is going to become an economic powerhouse rivaling the United States amongst others. They have an amazing array of ecosystems. Everything from deserts to rain forests, large bustling cities to small quiet villages. It is a beautiful country.
The actors are superb in this film. Dora is played by a famous Brazilian actress Fernanda Montenegro. You can feel what a difficult and hard life she's had and how she's built a wall around her to protect her fragile emotions from the stormy harsh reality that her life has been. Josue is played by Vinicius de Oliveira, a boy who was found working as a shoeshine boy at the Central Station in Sao Paulo by casting directors. He gives a remarkable performance for an actor so young.
The movie is in Portuguese with subtitles and it's available through NetFlix. Add it to your queue today!
It was a horribly dreary and rainy day across the Bay Area. The dealer that I ordered him from is almost to San Jose and so I had to take a bus, then BART, then CalTrain to get to Mountain View. It gave me new appreciation for people who don't have cars. How do y'all get around? Inquiring minds want to know. Public transportation has gotten expensive. But I digress.
So I arrived at the dealer just before 1PM. The sales rep was like, "What's your last name?" I told him and he was like, "Oh, you got the red car!" I was like "Why YES I DID..." :) I have driven a black car for the last five years and the red is a much needed improvement. I debated blue, green, or grey, but that describes every piece of clothing that I own. So I opted for the Chili Red with silver stripes.
Once I had the standard car tour ("Make sure you read your manual. There are so many interesting features..." Blah blah blah.) The salesman droned on and on and on. I was so excited to be in my car that I did not retain more than 10% of what he said. Next, I headed over to financing. The woman who did all of my paperwork has been working as a car finance processor for 37 years (5 years longer than I have been alive, thank you very much). She was totally crazy. In fact, she reminded me of one of those late night Denny's waitresses. One can tell that she easily smokes a pack a day and the years have not been kind. Bad makeup, the hair was blonde, feathered and pasted to her head. The style was mid-80s, I suppose. I fervently hope I am able to work my white trash genes that strongly when I get to be 55 or so. She was fierce. I asked her, "Do you ever get confused with all of the paper?" as she had me sign my name 100 times over. She gave me a frosty smile and was like "Never...". Fierce, I tell ya.
So about an hour and a half later, I bid adieu to Mini of Mountain View and drove to work in my new car. The new car smell is intoxicating and I love the fact that the Mini is so much fun, yet environmentally friendly and so easy to park at the same time. The only thing thing missing from today was the sun. My friend called and left me a voicemail tonight... "Hey Noah, how's that ark coming?" Not a bad question to ask these days.
So that, boys and girls, was my exciting day in a nutshell. If any of you want a ride in my new car, you know where to find me. Cuidate.
So I ended up on BART today as my car was in the shop getting an oil change and new brake pads. I arrived at 24th and Mission Station and took the escalator up only to get hit with an enormous immigration policy protest. In San Francisco, you see protests almost every day of the year. It's part of our charm. Some are smaller (as in one person with a sign), some are larger depending on the event. Before the US invaded Iraq the last time, there were some major protests with riot police and helicopters and protesters getting hit with water cannons. I didn't see any violence today, but it's quite an impressive sight when you have thousands of people shutting down Mission Boulevard.
The immigrations protests over the last few weeks have brought forth an issue which many of us have not given much thought to or have chosen to ignore. The United States is kept running by the cheap labor of millions of illegal immigrants in this country. These immigrants are the people who work at the car washes, who use the leaf blowers on our streets, who construct our homes and roads, who raise our children, clean our homes, pick up our trash, and who work at McDonalds for minimum wage. Many of the illegal immigrants I know live 10 or 12 to a house and work 2 full time jobs, some over 80 hours a week. Still, on a daily basis they always smile, joke around, and are cheerful. If I was working 80 hours a week for minimum wage, there is no way in hell I would be smiling or cheerful. I have great respect for the work that they do and the long hours that they put in.
The United States is a nation of immigrants. Yes we have Native Americans, the few surviving ones that we immigrants didn't wipe out by disease or direct assault on their way of life. However, the rest of us checked in later. Our ancestors got here one way or another, stayed, created a life for themselves, and built this country into what it is today. I find it wholeheartedly hypocritical for people to suggest that we should close our borders and deport all illegal immigrants especially when their ancestors or parents or grandparents were welcomed with open arms. First off, this isn't practical. Our borders are thousands of miles long, are porous and cannot be sealed. Should we start building walls like the Israelis or the Russians? How about price? The cost of deporting 10 million people would be kinda pricey and impossible to do. Second, who would do all of the jobs that no Americans seem willing to do? If all companies were forced to pay living wage salaries to all employees, we would bankrupt 90% or more of the corporations in this country, the economy would collapse and inflation would skyrocket.
The point with which I take issue is that recent immigrants do not seem to want to assimilate into our culture or at least learn to speak basic English and learn our laws and customs. In Europe, many countries have the same issues with immigrant populations from Turkey, Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and other regions. If you choose to leave your country for another, then you should make an effort to be a good citizen of your new home. In many of the protests that I have seen in person and on television, you see masses of Mexicans walking around with Mexican flags. I appreciate that they have pride in their culture, but in this case it's comical to see. Which Americans do they hope to gain sympathy from when they are marching around with a Mexican flag? I am the most Mexican friendly person you will find, but in this case, I am scratching my head. What are you all thinking? If you chose to leave Mexico, Brazil, China, Russia, or wherever you came from, then you should be working on your life here. Why did you want to leave your home country in the first place? What did you choose to make the USA your home? If you don't want to put forth any effort to give something back to the country that welcomed you, then go home. Perhaps we need to give more thought to making English the official language of the United States of America.
The legal immigration process to get into this country is a complete joke. Some people get approved immediately, some wait for 10 years or more, and others claim asylum or marry fraudulently to get a green card. The system is horribly flawed and in much need of an overhaul. If the protests of late have shown us one thing, it is clear that we need more discussion and dialogue on these issues with all people in this country. It needs to addressed in a civil and humane way that treats all people (regardless of where you were born) with dignity, courtesy, and timeliness.
I admit it. I am a complete and total Snapple freak.
I have been drinking Snapple for over ten years and consume at least 3 of them a day. Some of my favorites are Grapeade, Fruit Punch, Peach Ice Tea, Lemon Ice Tea, Pink Lemonade, Mint Tea, Kiwi Strawberry, Raspberry Ice Tea. I could go on for days. They used to have a Cherry Lemonade flavor that was the bomb. Inspired by this post, I just e-mailed Snapple to find out if they will bring this flavor back. It doesn't even show up on the retired flavors list on their web site, so I think there is some kind of conspiracy going on with this particular flavor. Bring it back! Bring it back!
When I started working for United Airlines in 1998, we served Lemon Ice Tea and Kiwi Strawberry on domestic flights. When they pulled those, I cried for years. What else do you want to drink on an airplane that's not soda? Cranberry juice is always good, but day after day for years at a time it gets pretty old.
I remember the Snapple commercial from years ago where Wendy the Snapple Lady sent a Snapple machine to a 9 year old kid's house. I fantasize about that commercial. In a few years, if you come to my house and find a Snapple machine, don't be surprised. This will signify yet another life dream checked off of my list. ;)
In recent years, I admit, I do cheat and switch over the Arizona Ice Tea family on occasion for some variety. Still, Snapple has the best variety of flavors and the glass bottles are a reminder of days gone by. Plus they are great as penny jars for your home or vases. And don't forget about impromptu Spin the Bottle games.
So all you Snapple fans out there, stand up and be heard! Cuidate.
Guess what? It rained again tonight in the Bay Area. Somebody make it stop...PLEASE.
My movie pick this week is a documentary that recently came out on DVD. It is entitled Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. It is based upon a book of the same name that was written by two Fortune writers.
The documentary details the rise and fall of Enron, the biggest corporate scandal of our time. I sat through most of this film nauseous and in utter disbelief at the degree of arrogance of this corporation. Through political connections and forged accounting, they swindled the state of California and many other clients out of billions of dollars. The fall of their corporation also led to the fall of the famed accounting firm of Arthur Andersen. When the company collapsed, the majority of their employees lost all of their savings for retirement as their holdings were mostly invested in Enron stock. The documentary draws you in through excellent use of telephone conversations, written statements, interviews, and internal and external company videos. There is a classic clip of George W Bush wishing Kenny Boy (Chairman Kenneth Lay, an old Bush crony) a Happy Birthday. Yet another open mouth, insert foot moment for GW. (Can anyone say Brownie?)
The saddest part of this documentary for me was to see the complete and utter greed of corporate management with no thoughts or concerns for the employees of the company. At the same time, Enron was largely responsible for Gray Davis being recalled as governor of California due to the illegal manipulation of the energy markets in the early part of this decade. As the company collapsed, the executives kept up the deception to the end dooming the shareholders of the company. As a wounded veteran of the airline industry, my wounds are still healing and watching this film was such like throwing salt back on them. Corporate greed cannot continue to be rewarded in this country. It is my fervent hope that the men responsible for this ridiculous scam be thrown in jail for life without parole. It's the least they could do for ruining thousands of people's lives while living in the most luxurious and opulent accommodations. Let them eat cake indeed...
That being said, see the documentary. It's a great film and I hope it provokes as strong a reaction in all of you as it did in me.
Is there ever enough cash to go around? When I was young, I did not imagine the financial pressures that life would present.
I live in San Francisco which has been one of the great loves of my life. I have attempted to run away several times, but always come back crying for her to take me back. She always smiles and welcomes me home with open arms. On top of the breathtaking natural beauty of this city, the people that live here make the city what it is. As a whole, they are intelligent, tolerant, perceptive, curious, and open minded. It's quite unlike any other place that I've lived in the United States.
My one issue with San Francisco is that she is not a cheap date. To live here means that you make sacrifices. I am 32 years old and am feeling the pressure to own a home. Here in San Francisco, that is almost impossible. I would love to get a loft or a flat someplace, am not feeling the need to have a house specifically. Even those start at $300,000 or more for a dump. The average decent loft that I've seen and liked is $500,000 or more. Big numbers. Basically, you're looking at $100,000 just for a down payment. That's a lot o' saving that you've got to do just to be able to qualify for the killer mortgage you're about to encounter. Even with a partner of some sort, it's a huge amount of moula. Alone, it is daunting to say the least. Renting is not a lot better. A one bedroom apartment in the city averages $1,000 a month or more. Definitely cheaper than a mortgage, but that's a lot of money that is flying out the window.
Financially, I always have the feeling that it will never be enough. I accepted a job last September which is paying me a salary that is about 30-40% more than my previous career. While I feel like I am finally in a better position to save for retirement and plan for my future, there is that sinking suspicion that it isn't enough. That it will never be enough to live comfortably here in the Bay Area. At times like this, I am very thankful that I am gay and have no children. As I have seen from my family and friends, kids are not cheap. I don't know how I would manage if I had a child to provide for. My hat is off to all of you that manage to do it.
I see the same financial pressures in people all around me. We all struggle and make sacrafices to live here. Most of us either live with roommates or drive our cars until they're older. We rent instead of buying. A friend of mine lost his job a few weeks ago and is freaking now as his credit card bills climb and he's doing the interview circuit trying to get a job. As I see him struggling, it brings up fears in me that I could be in his shoes very easily.
For the past 8 years, I have always waited tables and bar tended part-time to make extra cash. I don't dislike the work. In fact, I enjoy being busy and have met some of my best friends through the restaurant business. As I am now 32 though, I'm feeling a little old compared to my college student peers. I'm not going really into going out and doing shots after work anymore. I'd rather get an extra hour or two of sleep. Sad, but true. As I contemplate leaving my restaurant job in June, it is definitely making me nervous as the job has always been a safety blanket to me. I could always count on the extra $200 bucks a week to play with or to put towards a credit card bill or something. I will be finished training with my new full-time job in June and will be able to pick up overtime there, but it's definitely going to be strange not putting on the black pants, the white shirt, the dirty tie and apron week after week. Then again, all of my friends who bitch at me and say, "Are you still at that tired restaurant? Oh my God, WHY?" ain't gonna be able to say it anymore. Ha ha ha....
As some of you know, I will soon be taking delivery of a new Mini Cooper. His name is Hector and he was born on March 6th, 2006 in Oxford, England. (He's a Pisces.) My car was hit from behind in October and I ended up with a Mini Cooper as a rental car for 2 days. Before that, I had never been in nor driven one. I had such a great weekend with that car!
Fast forward to this year and I was starting to think about selling my Integra while the resale value is still decent. I looked into a few new car models, but in the end the gas mileage and the fun of the Cooper won out. Thanks to the internet and some bloggers with way too much time on their hands, I was able to track Hector through the shipping company and see his journey day by day. He boarded his ship on March 8th in Southampton, England. (Didn't the Titanic leave from Southampton?) His first port of call was Brunswick, GA, but I don't think he liked the scenery in Georgia too much. So he then transited the Panama Canal and arrived in Los Angeles, CA on April 1st. He has cleared immigration and is now being checked for seasickness and being given a clean bill of health before proceeding northward. If all goes well, I should be seeing Hector within the next week. He is Chili Red with silver stripes on his hood and a silver roof. Mini Coopers have so many different options and paint color combinations that most are unique to the owner's specifications. In my case Bay Area dealers have plenty of convertibles in stock, but not too many of the regular Coopers.
I will, of course, be posting many a photo of Hector when he arrives. (For those of you that knew the original Hector "The Injector" Deleon, yes the car is named after him.) As a shameless promotion, if anyone wants to buy my Integra I'm sellin' it! 2001 Acura Integra LS in good shape.
It has been almost nonstop rain in the Bay Area for the last few weeks. I was about to look into putting some money in Ark futures. Yes it is cloudy and gray here a lot of the time, but it doesn't rain that frequently. So about 1pm today, the rain stopped and the clouds dissipated a bit. I didn't want to chance fate and wish for some sun, but low and behold, around 3:30pm, the sun made a much needed appearance. The city came alive this evening. People brought their dogs out for some much needed exercise, joggers returned to Church Street with a vengeance, and the stores in my neighborhood cautiously returned their street displays outside (as seen above). There was a feeling of contentment and relief in the air to be able to leave the umbrellas at home. Sadly, it is supposed to rain the next two days, but after that, there is hope for the weekend.
I had a lazy day today. Had lunch and coffee with a new friend, went running before sunset, and then hung out with Brian and some of his peeps tonight at the Pillsner. Is it me or has the crowd in that bar changed drastically since when I first went there? Good stuff all around though. Cuidate.
People in my life have accused me of being cold, superficial, and over critical of others. I tend to dispute these claims, but since more than one person has brought these issues to my attention, I guess I should address the observations.
Gay men tend to be more critical of others. For myself, I suppose it is a defense mechanism that I developed as a young child to protect myself from the taunts of other children. If you were quick enough to come up with an insult back, then it dulled the pain of the verbal and physical assaults that one was enduring.
When I was about 7, my family relocated from Daytona Beach, Florida to southern New Hampshire, about an hour from Boston. I remember the first day or two after meeting a couple of boys from the neighborhood, one remarked to me, "You act so gay. Are you a fag or something?" I had never heard anything like this before in my life and was completely unprepared to defend myself. Before long, I became known throughout the neighborhood as the new gay kid. I was very shy and didn't know many people. A couple of weeks later, I remember getting on the bus the first day of school and not being able to find a seat. The driver and the kids were all screaming at me to find an open seat, so I sat down with these young girls up front rather than go to the back of the bus where the older elementary school boys were. Even at that young an age, I had developed self-defense mechanisms and I was afraid of being beat up.
Elementary school proved to be a tough time for me. I didn't have a lot of friends and I never felt like I fit in. In the fifth grade, I went to a guidance counselor from the school. I told her that I was being teased and made fun of for being gay and such things. She asked me who was teasing me and wanted names. So I named 2 or 3 of my classmates and she called them in and had us sit face to face. She then interrogated him or her on why said person was saying these things. All of them said that I had effeminate mannerisms or the way I spoke was gay. The guidance counselor's advice to me was, "If you don't want to be construed as gay, then maybe you should consider changing your behaviors."
Looking back on this makes me very sad. What did I, a 9 or 10 year old kid, know about my sexuality at the time? I did not even understand the words that I was being called. Gay, faggot, fudge packer, pussy boy, sissy. On top of being a repressed gay kid who had no contact whatsoever with his sexuality, I came from a conservative Roman Catholic family which did not openly discuss matters such as this. The only things I knew about gay people were the horrible names that people used in describing me and that there were daily news reports in the 80s of gay people dying of AIDS. I remember my mother watching Donahue one day when I arrived home from school and he had a gay person on his show. My mother quickly shut the television off muttering, "Well, we don't need to see anymore of that, now do we?"
I also buried my loneliness and sadness in food. I was a pretty chunky kid looking back. I was never obese, but upon graduation from high school, I was about 5'10-6'00 and 250 pounds. I gained 20 more pounds when I went to college a year later. So at my heaviest, I was 6'1, 270 pounds, and a 40 waist. I have broad shoulders and most of my family members and classmates say today that I didn't look that heavy. But looking back at photos, yeesh...
We all have our stories of traumatic upbringings and I'm certainly not saying that one person's story trumps another's. As a young child, the only way I could defend myself was with my wit and quickness. It became a mental game to come up with something horrible to say back to the person just in case they came at me with an insult. I'm still famous for always wanting to have the last line. You know, one upping the other person. "Oh wait, that's nothing!" I believe that this is where a lot of that comes from. Being able to mentally bring someone else down in order to make yourself feel better or safe.
Gay men, when we get around each other most times, talk shit about people. A lot of shit. "Girl, did you see that train wreck walking down the sidewalk?" Or "Did you see what Trey wore to the club last night? Oh my god, I didn't know Wal-Mart had a men's clothing line!" I am famous with accents and I do impersonations of different people and races. I truly do not mean any harm when I impersonate people. All races, cultures, genders, and sexual orientations of people are wonderful. Personally, I like to poke fun at some generalizations to get a laugh. (For example, whenever I'm hanging out with my Mexican friends, I'm always cracking on white people with them. Like "Damn these white people. What the fuck man? Always trying to keep us down!") And, for the most part, people get it. However, sometimes people believe that by me being critical, that I think I'm better than everyone else. I can assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. There is definitely a certain part of me that likes to get a reaction out of people. My friend Brian, who is also from New England, does the same thing. We often wonder if it's a New England thing or just a mean streak in our personalities. Sometimes we will goad people until we get some kind of level of attention or verbal sparring back our way.
Everyone has a right to their opinion. I am quite confident in the fact that I am certainly not the best nor the worst looking person on the face of the planet. If I make a comment about someone for a particular reason, then it's my opinion. It certainly shouldn't be taken as me thinking I'm better than anyone else. I'm sure they have an opinion about me that they're not necessarily expressing either. I just tend to vocalize these things rather than internalize them.
I also completely enjoy when the tables are turned and someone can "take the piss out of me" as the Brits say. I appreciate wit, dry humor, and sarcasm more than any other qualities in a person. Let's face it, if you can be catty and sarcastic with someone who is clever, how much FUN is that? Grrr... I love it. I suppose Olympia Dukakis put it best when she said the famous line from Steel Magnolias, "Honey, if you don't have anything nice to say, then come sit by me!"
On the charges of being cold, I don't necessarily get that either. If I am meeting someone for the first time, then I tend to be fairly shy until I can get a read on the situation. If I arrive at a party, I'm more apt to circle the room a few times and listen to conversations before joining in. People construe this as me being standoffish, but it's not. I'm simply protecting myself from the memories of being that fat unhappy kid in elementary school that didn't have any friends or any understandings of who he was as a person. Until I came out of the closet and became comfortable with who I was, I had a pretty rough time of it. Social situations with gays are awkward anyway. Especially if you've been invited to a straight wedding or someone's Christmas party, it's very stressful. I'm always wondering, "Ok, who knows I'm gay and who knows I'm not? Will it be an issue here? If I want to dance with my boyfriend, will we cause a scene?" No matter where you go, you always have to think in the back of your mind about your surroundings and what is appropriate or not appropriate for the place you are in. Straight people don't have to think about these things. You can make out with the opposite sex on a subway, in any grocery store, at the beach, in a bookstore, in a restaurant, on tv, anywhere, anytime. For me, I always have to make a quick mental note of who's around me and where I am. Being spontaneous is not possible. And that's very sad.
So these are some of the things that I think about on a daily basis. I hope this has given the people who say I'm cold, uncaring, and unfeeling something to think about. My favorite play of all time is Rent. The chorus from one of my favorite songs goes like this...
Take me for what I am, Who I was meant to be, And if you give a damn, Take me Baby..... Or Leave Me
